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January 17, 2016
Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu
Mental Training for Muay Thai, Muay Thai

The Most Difficult Muay Thai Technique of All: Laughter

laughing after pad work with Nook

Pain and Laughter

Scene 1: a pain shoots through my right leg, right down the nerve that runs from the outside of my hip to my knee, and without any drama on my own part my leg simply gives out and I collapse to the floor. It hurts a lot and I honestly have to take a second, rolling on my belly to try to get back up and limp toward my adversary for revenge. But first I have to catch my breath because I’m laughing; and I have to figure out my revenge quickly because my foe is already aiming to kick me again. It’s morning training and my trainer, Pi Nu, gets a look on his face when he’s going to try something cheeky in padwork. Or when he stands too close to me when I’m idle between rounds, I know he’s going to throw some impromptu sparring into the mix. Just messing around, playing. I know that look; I know that proximity. Mostly the answer is to just throw whatever I can back at him, try to hurt him  a little. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. He’ll tell me if I lose – he’s really consistent at pointing that out. But it’s funny. The pain is real and the dominance and power struggle in our exchanges is real – but the outcome doesn’t matter. I lose, doesn’t matter; I win, doesn’t matter. Both are funny and I like reminiscing and telling a good story about why it hurts to go down the stairs to walk my dog.

Sometimes it’s the trainer who initiates it, sometimes it’s me, but the response on either side is generally the same: a smile, a laugh, and firing something back. It breaks the ice. Now you can kick each other or be thrown on the floor.

Scene 2: I’m hitting pads with a man named Kru Lek, who I don’t know. I met him 10 minutes ago, at Sang Morakot Gym in Bangkok, and he’s the trainer of some really famous fighters in Thailand and I’ve just watched them smashing the pads with him; guys with twice my experience and nearly twice my size. There’s a degree of awkwardness as we both figure out each other’s ranges, pace, habits and angles. It’s like a new dance partner or small talk with someone you just met. Except, instead of throwing in a little verbal jab to have a laugh and test out boundaries, I throw an actual jab – or an unexpected teep. Sometimes it’s the trainer who initiates it, sometimes it’s me, but the response on either side is generally the same: a smile, a laugh, and firing something back. It breaks the ice. Now you can kick each other or be thrown on the floor. Now we’re both laughing and I might get a feinted elbow to let me know that I’d be sliced open in a real fight by now, but we both make the “ooooiii” sound in acknowledgement of it and I immediately cut him back – imaginary style. Now the onlookers outside the ring are pretending to make bets. It’s a game and we’re all pantomiming after the real thing, but with great joy and easiness. After we leave this gym a woman from the film crew – we were filming for an American Travel Channel show with Andrew Zimmern – asks me, “so how long have you been training at this gym?” When I tell her that was my first time there and I’ve never met any of those people before she’s astounded. She thought from watching our work that we trained every day together for years. But you might assume that kind of thing if you saw two people laughing together and exchanging jokes in any context – it’s a sign of comfort and that’s a sign of familiarity. But you can do this anywhere, and you can invite this kind of rapport with anybody; or you can learn to, anyway.

I’ve very recently had the opportunity to train at a number of different gyms, for a variety of different reasons: filming for a US television program at the Sang Morakot gym in Bangkok; filming 1-1 private lessons with great teachers in Thailand for my sponsors, Nak Muay Nation; and supplementing my training at a local gym. Contrary to what some people who see my website think, I am not frequently traveling around to different gyms in Thailand and trying out all their different training methods. I’ve only trained at a small number of gyms and for extended periods of time, but when my training falters in one area, I do have to branch out and try to supplement my training by whatever means I can. Recently, I’ve needed to supplement my clinch training and so I’ve had three days’ worth of experience at the Sor. Klinmee gym in Pattaya.

There are natural tides in the training at any given gym in Thailand and at times the ebb and flow can mean that I’m not getting all the work in that I need. It doesn’t mean my gym isn’t good, it just means I need more. So I asked Pi Nu’s blessing to go get some clinch training at a local gym that happens to be headed by a friend of Pi Nu’s – they grew up together and trained together as kids. There’s a little bit of tension involved, but he gave his permission and the owner at Sor. Klinmee (while we’d never met before) knows who I am. So when I asked if I could come by and just do some clinching with a few of his boys he said that was fine. So, in the logistical realm of setting this up, it went pretty smoothly.

The Passport to Experience in Muay Thai

But getting Pi Nu’s blessing and then being allowed into Sor. Klinmee is not what really makes this kind of thing possible. In the three days that I’ve been clinching at Sor. Klinmee, I’ve been thrown into the ring with one boy who is much taller and heavier, one boy who is actually very near my size but very strong, skilled and a show-off, and one boy who is smaller but strong and tricky. That’s a good sampling. Most of my work is with the tall one, Nin, who has a great attitude and we have a lot of fun. I laugh a lot; I make jokes with him, yelling out “Super Bonus!” when he tries a flying knee (a joke that stems from the new bonuses awarded at Max Muay Thai on TV) and one time when he accidentally kneed me in the face (with the fleshy part of his thigh, so no damage), I laughed it off – he apologized and we kept going. And I laugh when I get something good in, too. It’s all fun. It’s all play, whether I’m getting my ass kicked or getting a move in edge-wise. And same with the other two boys; whether I’m winning or losing, I’m laughing.

This wasn’t possible for me even 6 months ago. It’s not even universally possible for me now, but I will say that I have to strain to remember a time in the last few months when I wasn’t laughing and playing with Pi Nu in padwork; when I wasn’t having fun and laughing and joking around in sparring or clinch. Like, you can remember that one dude who takes Beer Pong way too seriously, because he stands out. That’s how experiences of not having fun stand out for me in the past months of training. I even do it in unfamiliar situations, like going over to Sor. Klinmee; like when I filmed with the Travel Channel at Sang Morakot gym – I played with Kru Lek, who I’d never met before in my life prior to that. We didn’t know each other. And I feel like we both got more out of it as a result.

He would tell me to smile, because he wanted me to relax. I was too tense. But I couldn’t do it. I’d actually tell him that I couldn’t smile because I didn’t feel like smiling, because someone is trying to punch me in the face. That wasn’t funny at the time. But it’s funny now.

And there’s a reason this is really recent for me. I can remember back to when I first landed in Thailand and was training in Chiang Mai at Lanna Muay Thai, and Andy was holding pads for me. Andy is amazing. He’s this Muay Thai, life coach, guru and he knows his shit. He would tell me to smile, because he wanted me to relax. I was too tense. But I couldn’t do it. I’d actually tell him that I couldn’t smile because I didn’t feel like smiling, because someone is trying to punch me in the face. That wasn’t funny at the time. But it’s funny now. When someone successfully punches me in the face, it’s funny. So what changed? Well, everything. But mostly it’s that I’ve become more comfortable with contact, with pressure, with aggression – both mine and that being directed at me. I haven’t quite brought it into the ring yet – I mean, I smile sometimes, but I’m not cackling and calling out “Super Bonus!” to my opponents in fights. There are limits, obviously. But there’s a looseness and a relaxation – exactly what Andy was aiming for when he told me to smile, almost 4 years ago – this is new. And it’s liberating. I learned this from Pi Nu. He never sat me down and instructed me in it, but he pushed me and molded me in that direction. He never sat me down and taught me to teep, either, but he integrated it into our padwork over the last year and lo and behold, I’m teeping like a mother-fucker in my fights now. It’s that kind of development. I didn’t try – I mean, I consciously tried to be less of an asshole and not so tense all the time, so there was some mental training of aiming toward “play” – mostly it was just actually playing with Pi Nu every morning in padwork and having him interject in my clinching in the afternoons, playing with me when I would get thrown down to the ground so that I would then get up and play with my partner, instead of feeling like I’d just “messed up.” Essentially, Pi Nu has given me a Passport to be able to train anywhere. But it’s the genuine impulse to laugh when I’m caught with something. I’ve even done it in a few fights recently: once when I turned my whole body like an asshole on a punch that went nowhere (that’s funny, it must have looked ridiculous), and just in my last fight with Faa Chiang Rai when she teeped me hard into the ropes and I went back, like, 4 feet. “Good shot,” that laugh says, “but it doesn’t matter. Now it’s my turn.” I actually laughed, out loud, in the ring – spontaneously, because I felt joy in it. Before I’d be beating myself up for having made a mistake. But you know, it’s a contact sport… contact isn’t a mistake.

Master K gave me my heart in Muay Thai; through him I learned to really, truly love Muay enough to dedicate myself entirely to it. He allowed me to love it so much it became an obsession.

To Love…And To Be Loved

This difference of not only being able to smile – as Andy had wanted me to – but actually feeling the impulse of joy and genuinely laughing in the midst of contact and pressure is immense. I feel it in every part of my Muay Thai. It makes me more free, it allows me to try things even if they look wrong; to take credit for the things that do work instead of only being critical of myself for the things that don’t. It’s like how you can be yourself around those who love you. And that’s the greatest feeling in the world. John Lee Hooker sings in a song, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn/ is just to love and be loved in return.” Those things clearly go together with great joy, but the separation of the two is quite painful and difficult. You need both. Master K gave me my heart in Muay Thai; through him I learned to really, truly love Muay enough to dedicate myself entirely to it. He allowed me to love it so much it became an obsession. But in learning how to play, in guiding me down this path in a slow and consistent process, it’s Pi Nu who has taught me how to be loved by Muay Thai, in return. By having both sides, I’m finally free to do and be anything – whether I succeed or make a mistake, it doesn’t matter – it’s all love. The math, no matter how you add it up or subtract it out, the sum is only love.

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Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

The Author Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

A 103 lb. (46 kg) female Muay Thai fighter. Originally I trained under Kumron Vaitayanon (Master K) and Kaensak sor. Ploenjit in New Jersey. I then moved to Thailand to train and fight full time in April of 2012, devoting myself to fighting 100 Thai fights, as well as blogging full time. Having surpassed 100 fights in 3 years here, my new goal is to fight an impossible 200 times in Thailand, as much as I possibly can, and to continue to write my experience.

2 Comments

  • Nick
    January 20, 2016 5:16 am

    This was beautiful Sylvie. I am still in what I hope is a phase where the amount of sensory input and my inexperience makes sparring pretty intense for me and it is encouraging to read this. I can certainly take more joy from my training and it’s something I see my gym mates experiencing often; it certainly makes the whole experience more enjoyable.

  • Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu
    Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu
    January 20, 2016 2:36 pm

    I think this is one of the great advantages of starting as a kid. Kids ONLY know to play; they don’t assume they know how to do something and have a more open mind about mistakes. If you get the movements into your muscle banks before your mind starts getting all “inner coach” about it, you’ve got a huge lead on the rest of the folks who are standing in their own way, mentally.

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Mental Training - People Pleasing and the Fighter

How Many Fucks? Zero. The People Pleaser and the Fighter

Apologies to my younger readers, this post is laced with profanity. Sometimes profanity has a special power to describe things in ways other words can’t. The plastic stool underneath me is too far out from the actual corner and my body kind of tips backwards as my cornermen lift my legs into their hands and rub icy cold water on my thighs and shins. I try to balance myself on the ropes but it’s more awkward and I reposition my forearms to the tops of my thighs; the cold water is going over my head now, which feels nice because

Chiang Mai Best Female Fighting in the World

Why Chiang Mai Has the Best Female Muay Thai Fighting in the World

This article is about the flourishing Muay Thai of Chiang Mai, in the north of Thailand, becoming the best female fight city in the country and very possibly in the entire world. No other city boasts such a complete native female Thai fight scene: it’s fed by side-bet (gambling) fights in the outlying provinces, stabilized by Sports Schools, hosted at a large number of local stadia (all of which allow women to fight in them) which hold fights every night of the week, and supported by the Thai Muay Siam media coverage. If you are a female Muay Thai fighter, this

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Interview with IFMA’s Stephan Fox | Muaythai in the Olympics and More

Stephan Fox is the General Secretary of the International Federation of Muaythai Amateur (IFMA) and the Vice-President of the World Muaythai Council (WMC).  He is a huge figure in the recognition and development of amateur Muaythai in Thailand, as well as international competition with both the IFMA and WMC. After 20 years of work, the International Olympic Committee has just given provisional recognition for possible inclusion in the Olympics – let me repeat that: 20 years of work for that, and Mr. Fox’s response is, “right on schedule.” above, the full 30 minute interview with Stephan Fox We cover a range of

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The Secret to Great Muay Thai Padwork in Thailand – Get the Most Out of It

What follows is not authoritative, it is just the things I’ve gleaned in my nearly 5 years of full time training at my various gyms, and in traveling around and taking privates from some of the best in Thailand. You can get access to my growing Muay Thai library with legends for a suggested pledge of $5. I read a rant on Reddit that, despite its intense language, does open up that some people do get frustrated training in Thailand, finding a lack of instruction and padwork that be repetitive. I do believe there is no better place in the

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“This Is Business” | The Imitation Game, Playing to the Gamblers

Alex and Note are standing on opposite corners of the ring, wearing shinguards and gloves, hanging out like they’re about to do anything other than sparring. They’re totally relaxed, laughing, joking. Kru Nu is pacing around and there’s a buzz around the circumference of the ring while the remainder of the boys all takes their positions along the ropes as spectators and Goh – one of the padmen for the kids – is hollering for Chicken Man. Kru Nu squats down with his hands on the top rope, peering under the staircase and out into the chicken farm, the most likely

fighting-above-weight-in-thailand

Female Fighters | Fighting Above Weight in Thailand & How to Win

First off, let me say it: weight, its not that big of a deal. There is a strong caveat to this, which is that it is a definite advantage, but so is height, or knowing the scoring system, or fighting since you were 10, or having a fight on your  home turf, and so many other things. So while weight is always a potential advantage, it is just one among many possible advantages. You can beat people who have the weight advantage over you, just like you can with any of those other advantages. I know that in the West

perfect-muay-thai-technique

Precision – A Basic Motivation Mistake in Some Western Training

read my guest post articles a Husband’s Point of View A Husband’s Point of View – Consider this a working theory. I’ve written about the uniqueness of Thai style training before, in The Slow Cook vs the Hack, and this article can be seen as something of an extension of that. But as Sylvie’s husband watching her progress through very earnest training and a hell of a lot of fighting, and seeing numerous westerners come through her Thai gyms, I’ve come upon something I think is pretty important. What led me to this is a very particular quality many serious

Guide to Muay Thai Gym Etiquette - Not Offend

Guide to Thailand Muay Thai Gym Etiquette – How to Be Polite

Below is meant to be a helpful guide, something that I wish I had when I first came to training Thailand. These are just things I’ve noticed in my 4 years of training and fighting here and are not hard and fast rules to follow. If you want to be polite in Thailand gyms, in a culture that is different than your own, these are just a few things to look for. There are of course a wide variety of gym experiences in Thailand, and things that are impolite in a small, family Thai-style gym might very well be common

Pitbull - Fear and Agression in Muay Thai

Fear of Escalation in Sparring and Training Aggression as a Skill

A lot of us feel that aggression comes with an “on/off” switch, and that we should be able to flick it back and forth based on context. Many of us who are learning Muay Thai struggle with aggression, perhaps because we don’t feel that we are “naturally aggressive,” and it’s frustrating to watch those who are seemingly naturally gifted with aggression succeed in ways that we don’t see in ourselves. But aggression isn’t natural, even if it does seem innate in some more than others. I contend that aggression feels natural to some due to having spent years cultivating it before they

Dracula Guard position - Muay Thai

Padwork with Daeng at Lanna – Dracula Guard (Long Guard Variation)

First a Little Bit About Daeng Daeng is one of the most fight-focused trainers I’ve trained with. When I was training at Lanna Muay Thai in Chiang Mai, it was Daeng who invested the most in diagnosing and fixing weaknesses in my fighting. He wasn’t my main trainer, but he’s a very good teacher and has a keen eye for finding how to improve on existing strengths and correct errors. I’d initially gotten a bit stuck with a technically brilliant but lazy and unmotivated trainer – that guy was a great trainer for some, just not for me – and Daeng

Arjan Surat - Dejrat Gym in Bangkok - Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

Arjan Surat of Dejrat Gym – 1 Hour Private | Coach of the Thai National Team

Join and Study my Muay Thai Library of Legends This is a full video of a private I took with Arjan Surat, Head Coach of the Thai National Team, and owner of the esteemed (but lesser known to the west) Dejrat Gym in Bangkok. I did a short review of the gym when I interviewed female fighter Kaitlin Young, and it was then that I met Arjan Surat for the first time: an absolutely extraordinary teacher and life-force of Muay Thai. The man is Old School-Old School, telling me that he’s been holding pads longer than I’ve been alive (he’s

The Gendered Experience

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Playing to Type – the Sexy Exchange Student and Muay Thai

– This is part of what is likely a series of articles on western female sexuality in Thai gyms – it’s a big topic and I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and this seemed like the best place to start. This view comes from my personal experience, and reflection, but also from conversations I’ve been having with women who have trained or are currently training elsewhere in Thailand. How Are You Drawn? There’s a stereotypical role that is in male-driven teen comedies – you know, the kind that are about the conquest of losing one’s virginity or

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New Stage Feminism Through Muay Thai? Non-Comparative Struggle

Earlier in the day I had fought on the day reserved for honoring the 18th century Father of Muay Thai, Nai Khanomtom, amid the sacred ruins of the former halcyon capital of Siam, Ayutthaya. I was cut in the fight and bled profusely in late rounds, and the fight came very close to being called off by the ring doctor. As the doctor inspected me, during a timeout forced by the ref for my own good, the fight was held in the balance; with blood streaming down my face, I begged in Thai for the doctor to let me continue: “I

My Muay Thai Scars - Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu

Losing Face – Beauty and Changing How My Stitches and Cuts Are Read

y stitch count stands at 51 stitches, most of which are in my face.  When looking in a mirror, I can see about five vertical lines along my hairline and forehead. I love them. I haven’t always, but I do now – they’re part of my story and in the context of what I love, where my heart has taken me, they’re something I have pride in. The other day I imagined what it would be like to go back to the US and work the job I had before, which was bartending. It’s a very image-conscious occupation and it

Aurora - video Game fitness

Muscle Power – Aurora, Sophie and Flex Candy Changing the Female Body

When I came home the other day my husband Kevin was interested in how I would view this promotional video (above), shot to highlight fitness model, Muay Thai practitioner and lifter Aurora LZ – who I’ve followed on Facebook for a long time – and lifter and fitness model Sophie Arvebrink, who I previously didn’t know. Kevin said: I have never really seen female bodies portrayed in this way before. So, I sat down for a look – video above I included the movie poster for “Bad Boys” because this whole slow motion walking sequence, looking badass, comes out of

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The Panty Incident – Gender, Undergarments and Cooties in Thailand

I wrote this post a few years ago, probably in the first year that I was training and fighting out of Lanna Muay Thai in Chiang Mai.  At the time there were a lot of cultural differences from the west, that are perhaps more emphasized in the conservative North, that were eye-opening to me. The superstition and downright fear of women’s undergarments was a big one, which is illustrated by this story I’ve called “the panty incident.” Enjoy. A few days ago I noticed a rogue sport-top bra (style, not really supportive) hanging on a drying rack at the gym. 

Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu - Mother - Patti Gassaway

My Mother’s Shadow – Why She Can’t Understand My Fighting

the above photo is of my mother and me laying on a mat for hours in the middle of Isaan, under the stars, waiting for my fight to come up on the card For two weeks at the end of October and beginning of November, my parents came out to Thailand for their second visit since I moved here.  The first visit was up in Chiang Mai last year and now they came to Pattaya, where we’ve lived since June of this year.  My parents loved Chiang Mai.  They had mixed feelings about Pattaya. Part of the timing of this

The Bloodied Faces of Women - Women's War Face - New Beauty

Celebrating the Female Face – Bloody Face Photos from Female Fighters

Ladies, Send in Your Bloodied Face Fighter Photos This is a call for female fighters to send me photos of their own bloodied face, to join a wall of women who have had their faces bloodied in fights. This is really in answer to the absence of the bloodied female face in fight media, something which actively works to segregate women, aesthetically, as something less than “real” fighters. The bloodied male face is celebrated in media; it symbolizes male toughness, aggression, commitment. But to a large degree the female fighter face has been whitewashed in a sea of beauty shots

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Expect the Uninspected

I got the gym a little after 4:00 this afternoon.  It had rained heavily for almost an hour and the air was only recently cleared of the heaving movement of wind.  Nook was directing two young western men in wrapping their hands and we chatted in broken Thai through different sides of the ring, asking each other whether or not another female fighter from the gym had won her bout the night before.  Neither of us had attended the fight and, from what I could understand of Nook’s account of a 20 lbs chicken, he’d probably gone to a cock

Lobloo Female Protection Groin Guard Review - Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu 8 limbs-w1400

The Lobloo Aeroslim Female Groin Guard – A Review | My Amazon Strap

The Lobloo Aero Slim Female Groin Guard inexpensive very well designed – light weight, simple, effective, comfortable could improve technique – groin confidence in clinch, kicks, knees free shipping, arrives fast I love the Lobloo female groin guard. For the most part, I think women don’t even wear groin protection because there are so few options for us – my friend Emma Thomas wrote about these nightmares here – btw, she’s getting one now too – and of those available very few are functional and/or comfortable…but the Lobloo is both. While I obviously like that this groin guard protects me

Sylvie von Duuglas-Ittu - Chiang Mai University Library

Chiang Mai University (CMU) Main Library – CMU Post Office – Gender Studies

Where is the Chiang Mai University Library? When I first arrived in Chiang Mai, for whatever reason – maybe it was the language barrier as I had not yet progressed with my Thai, or maybe it was a mismatch between my Googling skills and everything not being available on an English search engine – but I could not figure out where exactly the Chiang Mai University Library was, despite the fact I live only a 15 minutes walk from CMU.  I really wanted to locate the library because there were several gender studies books that I wanted to delve into

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Treated Like a “Lady” | The Benefits/Complications of Female Only Classes

This post is taken from a response I posted on the Women Only section of the Roundtable Forum – where confirmed female members discuss all things Muay Thai. If you are a female who trains in Muay Thai do join our group. The question was raised there by one of our members about the benefits and/or complications of female only classes. Her question specifically referenced “self defense” classes and women wanting to be prepared physically and mentally for an assault, and being disappointed that they were treated “ladylike” in those courses; but there are gyms that offer “women’s classes” that

Paula Bronstein - Women of Thailand and the Bottom Rope-001

So What’s the Big Deal About Women and the Bottom Rope In Thailand?

photo credit above: Paula Bronstein at Getty Images Guest Post – A Husband’s Point of View There’s been some of recent conversation about the bottom rope, and the Thai custom that women not only pass under the rope when entering the fight ring, but also less well-known, that in some more conservative camps, that they enter training rings this way as well, so as to not disturb the protective powers of magic that consecrate the ring and everything that happens within it. One western coach took to Facebook to present a defiant rant that his female fighters would never go

Nong Toom - the name nong

Ruminations on Gender, the Name “Nong” and Diminution in Muay Thai

Below are some ruminations on things I’ve picked up on in Thai culture These are suspicions I’ve arrived at through my various experiences and observations of Thai culture and should be taken as that, rather than claims of unarguable fact. I’m not fluent in Thai, neither the language nor the culture, but these are opinions I’ve formed through my experiences, observations and some academic research thus far. If anyone has further insight into or perspective on the language, gender and subculture I’d be glad to hear it. Thai Fighter Names and Gender Bias You can almost immediately spot female fighters

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