I don't think there is such a gym. I mean even pro mma gym like Tristar (seems like yours was also a mma gym) accept and teach to newbies. The too agressive type were probably middle ranger people happy to kick the shit out of someone for once or maybe it's just a bad gym. A good gym with a good head trainer won't let beginners get their ass kick for nothing. Nobody learns anything in these situation. When I spare with a newbie I basically only work on my defence and let them try to catch me. Also, one rule of thumb I follow is the closer to my house the gym is, the better it is. Helps to be steady if the gym is five minutes away for the days where you'll be tired, lazy or a bit beaten. Good luck and you're good enough for any gym :)
That's true about the distance; this gym was really close to my place, so I'm sad about it not being a good fit. I'm pretty sure it's exclusively a muay thai gym, my regular gym(s) are the MMA ones.
I didn't quite exactly get my ass kicked, as in no bad injuries. But I know that if I had been completely new to martial arts (and not just muay thai) I would have ended in bad shape. I had fun because I was dodging/blocking cool, fast movements. I didn't have fun because I kept telling everyone "hey I'm new please go easy on me" and some of them would still say "yeah ok" then throw me hits too fast that I could barely dodge or block, and hard enough that if I didn't they would have KOed me.
Sure, maybe they were still throwing what they consider easy, maybe everyone here would laugh at me freaking out over nothing, but I know what I can handle, and that wasn't it. So I really think I can't keep up with that class! :( At the same time it's so embarrasing that I had to ask people to go easy on me, and that even doing so, I could barely make it! I hate to come across as the whiny girl who is scared to get hit, I feel like I'm helping perpetuate harmful stereotypes by being shitty. So even if I can manage and stay as the worst in the class it seems like a bad idea, because I won't just be the least skilled person, but also the one that can't handle getting kicked.
I admit this has even made me wary of trying further gyms. I've spoken to other two ones but i haven't been able to settle on a date because I keep pulling it off to ensure I'm in top form and can handle whatever they throw me.